Community and food are inextricably linked. I have never wanted doughnuts so bad as the day someone brought them into work. She had been out for weeks with a shoulder injury and was so thankful to be back, she brought in doughnuts. Two dozen of them walked through the lab encased in a giant bag that oozed abundance. They were heart-shaped. It was a love offering in the truest sense. Pure gratitude in edible form.
I am wired to eat that. Eat the abundance and gratitude and love she brought us. As my coworkers pored over the adorable little treats, they made comments about the flavors and colors. The look of bliss and ecstasy on their faces shone through the dark clouds on that rainy day. It wasn't just a sugar rush. It was being a part of this awesome gift.
I have never had a taste for this particular brand of doughnut. That day, it looked like the only form of sustenance in this world that could keep me alive. I had been knocked around enough by food in the past to know that I couldn't risk it. By turning it down, there was a part of me that felt shunned from the society. It was nothing my coworkers said or did; it was just the feeling of not partaking.
When I was done feeling sorry for myself, I imagined a scenario where everyone who is around me eats on purpose. I imagined that they were Caveman Cookies or Paleo Treats instead, and the chatter would abound. Love and gratitude and abundance were mine that day.
Does feeling left out affect your attitude toward food?